Make This Be The New Years Resolution That Lasts
“We must reject not only the stereotypes that others hold of us. But also the stereotypes that we hold of ourselves.” - Congresswoman Shirley Chisolm
Most New Year's resolutions don't last past the second Friday of the new year let alone beyond the month of January. We choose resolutions for ourselves because we want to be better, work on ourselves, and ultimately have a healthier and happier life. We know they are good for us but we still drop the ball. If you are going to keep one resolution in 2020, make it this one: to include yourself. When we do this, we unlock the potential to bring the best version of ourselves to work.
We have a responsibility to work on our own dreams, goals and desires. We have a responsibility to develop ourselves into becoming the people we want to be while serving others. Feeling included has proven psychological and physical effects on your body – it releases stress, releases oxytocin, boosts positive emotions, increases your level of trust, and reduces blood pressure. Not only do you receive these benefits when other people include you – you also receive these benefits when you include yourself.
Here are a few tips from CultureCon Speaker, Beth Ruffin, on how to include yourself today:
Stick to the commitments you make to yourself
If you’re like me, you’ve started the weight loss journey more than you’d like to admit. I’d start each Monday with the declaration that I was going to eat right and work out. By Wednesday afternoon, I’d already broken the commitment and reverted to my unhealthy ways of eating. After years of this, I’d deconditioned myself to believing that I was going to keep the commitment to myself, so I stopped trying. When you make commitments to yourself, be intentional, resolute, and firm that you are going to follow through because after a while, you stop believing yourself.
Change the story you tell yourself
I used to wake up in the morning and with a deep sigh complain about all the things I had to do that day. I would believe that the day was going to be bad even before I placed my feet on the floor. And guess what happened? The day would be miserable. I continued this routine until I realized that my words have power. The things I believed and told myself came true. What are the things you tell yourself every day? How can you change the way you speak to yourself to manifest a more positive outlook?
Move from the “what if” to the “what if”
I used to get stuck in the “what ifs”. What if things go wrong? What if this doesn’t work out the way I want it to? What if others don’t support me? Unfortunately, that left me paralyzed and stagnant. I had to learn to turn my thoughts around. What if things go right? What if it works out the way I want it to? What if I receive the support of those around me? This simple change in thinking allowed me to ignite myself to action. Instead of staying stuck in the negative “what ifs”, I began to propel myself according to the positive “what ifs”. How are the “what ifs” keeping you stuck? How can you turn that thinking around to be more positive?
Think as your future self
When I look 10 years into the future, I see myself inspiring millions of people to be better through my speaking and coaching services. When I think about that lofty goal, I ask myself – how does one who inspires millions behave? What skills do they have? Who do they know? How are they impacting others? The answers to those questions inform the way I plan my day, the people I network with, and even the books I read. You may not be at the level that you want to be, but that shouldn’t stop you from behaving as if you’ve already reached that goal.
About the Author:
Beth Ruffin is committed to making the world more inclusive through consulting, coaching, and speaking. She teaches on topics such as strategy building, implicit bias, inclusive leadership, microaggressions, employee engagement, and diversity of thought. Visit her website at https://bethruffin.com to learn more.